Something in the Water

Last night the NV Blues had one of the strangest most bizarre games in some time. I knew something wasn't right when we arrived at the field and there was an eerie sky above the field. It was extremely overcast, a mist of rain, and it looked like a hurricane was about to hit. The weather stayed pretty consistent all night and never affected the game. However, someone put a voodoo spell on this blues team, or the the team Gatorade jug was contaminated.

With the recent string of games we have had, and a lack of any pitchers to show up for the game, coach had no choice, but to use a positional player as his starter. Lucky for the other team, that guy was me (would have probably been more successful throwing the kid in this picture). I warmed up in the bullpen with my catcher and had a really good session. It started off with me hitting the backstop on an errant toss. Then proceeding to ask him how exactly I hold a runner on and pitch from the stretch. We then decided to run over signs. I told him to put a single finger down every pitch, line up over the middle of the plate, and pray.

It didn't really get much prettier from there on out. I gave up a first inning 2 run bomb to their 3 hitter (to my defense the guy crushed the ball last time we played him, and he hit it out on a rinky dink ballpark, 320 down the line are we serious). Third inning I gave up another 2 run donk that just cleared the fence as well. The man at the plate clearly had no respect for me as he jacked a 3-0 cock shot. It was then I was immediately yanked and assumed my normal position at shortstop. Final Stat line:

2 1/3 Innings Pitched. 4 Earned Runs. 2 Walks. 1 K. (The K was unreal, got him out with a sick fastball painted on the black).

Things got stranger. This had happened once already, but it is the 6th inning in a tie ballgame and Icky gets picked off at 2nd to end the inning. To his defense, he was clearly safe, and it was the second time this ump made a bad call on a pick off attempt. Dave gets up from 2nd base and absolutely loses it. He started screaming, "The ball beat me, but he never applied the tag!" "Your out of position sir." He then walks off the field giving the ump he referred to as Colonel Sanders a death stare. Gets to the edge of the dugout an just screams at the top of his lungs, "HORRIBLE."

He then lunges to the back of the wall running and throws his glove. While he is doing this he loses his footing and trips and his belly goes straight into the bench. He gets so bad that he punches the wall straight out of the St. John Fisher playbook (for those of you that don't know he broke his wrist in his college career pulling a similar move against Fisher). He then started to hyperventilate and had to be escorted back to CF to make sure he didn't lose it. Ladies and Gents, your 4th grade teacher molding the future of America.

If things couldn't get any worse, our leadoff hitter strikes out to end the last inning leaving the game tied and a runner stranded on third. He is so mad that he is heading back to the dugout, and hucks the bat against the fence. The bat obviously ricochets off the fence, strikes our helmet less teammate square in the back of the head and makes the loudest noise ever. Guy goes straight down and blood is dripping. 911 is called and 5 minutes later a fire truck arrives on scene.

Guy ends up being okay. We can't get another inning in because of the time. Game ends in a tie unless they decide to call it a forfeit because we sent our own teammate to the hospital and ruined the game. This team is a joke.