BCA at the OTB

Welcome to the Kingston OTB (Off-Track Betting for those of you non-loser, non-degenerate gambling low-lifes out there...a place where the scum of the Earth assembles to bet on horses) - where I found this note posted above the (naturally) broken urinal.

Many of you know (and the rest will likely soon find out) that I like to gamble. I consider myself the BCA (Best Capper Alive) and while betting the horses is my weakness, I like to think I can spot some value better than the average schmuck. So, in an effort to get my life in order this summer (and out of necessity since I am broke) I gave myself a challenge - a $25 bankroll for the OTB (Belmont Stakes next Saturday and any trips to actual race tracks not included) with the goal being to turn it into $250.

Today was Day 1 of the quest. Here is how it went.

Upon entering through the complex's magnificently dirty double-glass doors, I was greeted with a classic OTB great debate. A man with a mild mullet creeping out of an old American Choppers baseball cap (hair color best described as a peppery drab orange marmalade) and matching orange collared American Choppers button down was arguing with an approximately 275 pound, 5', former athlete, replete with back-hair and wife-beater, white high top basketball sneakers (possibly Rick Barry hand-me-downs), high slightly ruffled white socks and a walk that could only be described as: upper body battling lower body, what happens when you're too fat to waddle. The argument was over whether or not Preakness winner and filly sensation Rachel Alexandra was really a super-horse (American Choppers got diced as big man ended a 10 minute debate with the "first horse to ever win The Preakness from the 13th post" line).

And that is why I love the OTB, nothing else can turn you into a bigger scumbag while simultaneously raising your self-esteem quite like hanging out there. A quick glance around revealed an Asian man with bushy (possibly hair-sprayed) eyebrows that literally stretched as wide as his shoulder blades. An old white guy with the flip-down sunglasses/glasses that I haven't seen used as a fashion statement since Dwayne Wayne from A Different World.


There was the Hannford butcher with his Hannford smock (to be fair it was clean) on..he literally sat there for hours in the smock. At one point, in walked in a woman with a bright lime-green shirt on, voo-doo-ish beads around her neck, scraggly black gypsy hair, right arm struggling to carry a red bag. Her eyes never blinked. She walked mechanically with mouth wide-open (miraculously not drooling) and fingers stuck up both nostrils (not kidding) as she droned to no one in particular "One dollar winner instead of nothing." As she headed over to the scratch-off machine, some slightly less sad soul walked over and handed her another one dollar winning lottery ticket, as she noted "You're a sweetheart" about two minutes after he walked away and she finally processed what he had given her.

There were the Jamaican drug-lords (have literally heard them discussing drug deals or I would not accuse) who walk in with fat wads and come away from the ticket window with stacks of betting slips that would seemingly make me believe they said "Give me every horse to Win, Place and Show in every race at every track please." The one was wearing a see-through mesh jersey, colored like the Jamaican flag. They speak patois and yell words no one else can decipher before throwing all their tickets up in a mass of depreciated confetti (which will usually be scooped up by some bum who will hope a horse on a ticket was scratched and they can hand it in for a refund).

The place is littered with old men to the right, half of which are bitching about horses or jockeys while the other half bitch about their wives. Walk back ten minutes later and the half that were bitching about their wives have found a jockey or horse to bash, while the others have forgotten about that "short-shit fucking pea-brained jockey" and are now bitching about their wives.

I will spare you many of the other bizarre creatures, peculiar conversations and strange happenings. As for my results? After missing a couple early races, I placed 10 dollars worth of bets.

You guessed it, a $15 bankroll for the rest of the summer! Even my favorite filly, the greatest named horse of all-time Lemon Chiffon let me down by missing the board in the DRF Race of the Week at Hollywood. Until the next (and probably last) installment of the BCA at the OTB, good luck gamblers.

The King is Dead

It looks like Nike can scrap the Lebron vs. Kobe Puppet commercials. It is always comforting to see a marketing campaign go straight down the toilet. If your pumped up to see a Magic vs Lakers NBA Finals then something is wrong with you. King James could not will his team to victory and the Cleveland Lebrons are no longer. People forget that Lebron is only a 24 year old man. So what if he has not won an NBA Championship yet, he still had a hell of a season (MVP) and will look to take Cleveland to the promised land next year before he jets to the Big Apple..

Speakin of 24 year old men and their accomplishments, I need to update you all on the opening double header of the Northern Virginia (NV) Blues. Let me first give you some background on this leauge so you can get a better idea of the competition level. We were playing on a field that has no drainage system, had standing water right in front of home plate, and weeds growing in the outfield (Though it was @ the highschool that Grant Hill attended: South Lake High Seahawks)! The team is composed of a bunch of guys, mostly in their mid to late 20's who have amounted to very little thus far. To get some outside perspective on the quality of games, my college buddy Kevin Malaney (aka Flamingo) attended and left after 5 innings. When I called him after the first game to see where he was he said "This league is terrible and I ran out of Bud Light so I went home."

Coach tells us the starting line up and what do you know but the Millman is starting at shortstop and batting cleanup (Little does Coach know, Millman hasn't played competitive baseball since 10th grade and was pretty lousy back then). Millman makes coach proud though going 2-3 with a walk, double, 2 RBI's, and an absolute shot that hit the right center field wall (almost my first career dinger).

My roomate Dave, 3 years removed from back surgery, is the starting Center Fielder. This kid refuses to stop playing sports even though he can't move his back or swing a bat. Just last week he had bloodwork and an MRI done because his back was killing him. I wish you all could have been at the game because it was a treat for all in attendance because there was a carnvial blasting music for all to hear. So I keep looking back at Dave in Center Field and he is doing the CHA CHA Slide in the middle of the game stomping his feet and clapping. The kid is a mental case. One inning after dancing in center field he is cursing out the 75 year old umpire for calling him out on a play to first. He starts screaming "I Know it's late, but we pay good money for this league." He then continues on to the guys in the dugout about how the 75 year old umpire is going to be in his trunk on his ride home"

Oh Summer Baseball. NV Blues Record: 1-1.

Looks like you got some pain behind those eyes...

Not much to report here. Pretty disheartened about the Nuggets game last night. Lakers really proved to be the dominant team once they started running the offense through Pau and Odom. The bigs really stepped up and then obviously you still need to worry about Kobe. It was a good run for the Nuggets, I dont think many anticipated a Western Conf. Finals appearance. Things got so bad last night that I was flipping during the 3rd and 4th quarters to watch a little Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Jurrasic Park. Certainly was a crazy night.

Underrated role for Paul Rudd by the way in the film. Has some memorable one-liners. Particularly like when the British guy is bleeding on the beach looking for help and all he can think to say is "You sound like you're from London."

On the Jurrasic Park front, during the scene where they are trying to restore power to the park, how does the one hunter truly believe he has the Raptor nailed down, and then he is surprised when they do their patented Triangle Attack. Everyone knows Raptors hunt in threes!!!

Anyways, im off to prepare for an NV Blue double header. Mulldog is at the local OTB today trying to double up on his robust $25 dollar bankroll. Should have some interesting stories to tell later.

Millman & Mulldog's 1st annual Spelling Bee Pewch All-Stars

As promised here are your 1st team Spelling Bee Pewch All-stars*. These kids are super-sensational baby! They are Awesome with a capital A!! Just remember, you are all winners in your parents and parents eyes only. Briefly on another note, who did Erin Andrews double cross to get handed the worst sideline reporting gig of her life...Spelling Bee Reporter??

Moderator: "Michael your word is Flatop"
Michael: "Can you use the word in a sentence"

Moderator: Your flatop is so embarrasing it resembles Arsenio Hall, or a young Penny Hardaway"

Michael: (Eliminated after running off stage crying)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moderator: "Now stepping to the podium. Gary "Nubs" Johnson. Nubs is a force to be reckoned with in this competition as he looks to chomp the competitors down untill he is the last man standing. It is interesting to note that Nubs can not actually see the playing field since he has created a vision visor with his hair."

Moderator: "Billy your word is handbook"

Bill: "Can you use the word in a sentence please?"

Moderator: "We suggest you read the following handbook, "Coping with Diabetes at age 12."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Moderator: Folks we would like to welcome to the stage star of the upcoming Walt Disney Feature Film: The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Heading to the Spelling Bee.

Moderator: Your word, Quasimodo

Devin: Language of Origin?

Moderator: Look in the Mirror

Devin: Alternative pronounciations?

Moderator: Gargoyle.

*Appologies for this

Weekend Scrambler

Before I touch into the Nuggets game tonight in a bit more detail I wanted to run over some Jack Handy's (deep thoughts).

- It's a complete travesty that the winning word in the 82nd annual Scripps Spelling Bee was 'Laodicean.' When the winners own name was Kavya Shivashankar, a final word of Laodicean is like having me spell 'Truck.' I don't care what they say Kavya, you'll never be a champion in my eyes (By the way...stay tuned for our 1st annual Spelling Bee Pewch All-Stars to follow).

- It's unbelievable what the King has done to the city of Cleveland. He made Quicken Loans arena look like the Staples Center last night with all the celebrities on hand. I know most of you watching the game had a hard time concentrating when they kept flashing cameos of A-Rod and Brady Quinn. Steroids and Myoplex have done those bodies good!

-For those of you who don't know, tomorrow, Saturday night, starts the 2nd baseball season for the millman as part of the NV Blues. I will be sure to fill you in on some game logs and stats through the blog. The NV Blues coming off a mediocre season at best will look for a strong season after trimming some of the fat this offseason. We literally trimmed fat: we had some pitcher on our team with the nickname of Meatballs because thats all he threw and ate. Boom Roasted.

- Finally, Derek Rose and Memphis are under allegations that an unknown person had taken the SAT's for him. What did Derek Rose have to say to this mystery man before he sat in for him. Listen, make sure you don't try too hard because no one will ever believe if I crack 800. What exactly did this mystery man get in return do you think? I can only suspect in place of taking his SATs that Rose filled in for him at the local YMCA for a pickup game and they pulled the old switcheroo. All I know is I am sure that everything will work out fine for Rose, how could it not, his agent is world champion B.J Armstrong.

Best Baller Alive

By now you have all heard everything you need to know about King James's historic night. He had a monster triple-double 37/14/12. He scored 17 in the 4th quarter, having a hand in the first 29 points his team scored in the final frame. He had the most points, most assists and most rebounds of any player on the court (think about that!). The Cavs literally ran the same play every time down the court - give it to Lebron up top, spread the floor with shooters and let him get it done. And Lebron delivered, he beat Pietrus to the rack, he nailed jumpers in his face and made some beautiful assists to cutting teammates and open shooters.

It truly was a magical performance to watch and a statement game. Sorry Kobe fans (myself included). Lebron James is the best player on the planet. If you hadn't realized it already (and you probably should have) you really have to begin to come to grips with reality. King James is dragging this sorry Cavs team to game 6...if he was on any of the other 3 teams left in the playoffs in place of their big star that team would be absolutely unbeatable. Last night's performance was truly one of the most remarkable in NBA history, I hope everyone took it all in, we are all certainly witnesses.

I would like to give Mo Williams some credit for finding his shot finally (6-9 from downtown, 24 points) and Booby Gibson stroking it from deep (3-4) is absolutely huge for this Cleveland team.

The question is, can Lebron get it done on the road in game 6? Can he re-visit refuse-to-lose mode that we saw last night in the 4th quarter? Does he have enough in the tank? It is a tall task for certain, but after last nights performance I don't see how anybody doubts the Cavs at this point. If you couldn't tell in my previous posts I have always felt the Cavs will probably win this series..the bottom line is in the NBA, you never doubt the best player on the planets ability to get it done.

Pope John Paul

With my disgust in the Nuggets 4th Quarter meltdown, and our focus thus far on only NBA basketball I wanted to touch on another subject. Why in the world does J.P. Losman (Bills former savior) not have a job? He did fairly admirable filling in for the injured Trent Edwards (Bills new anointed savior) last year.....right?


I think J.P may have sealed his fate to Rob Johnson status (another West coast QB with a dream bod, golden arm, and a peanut brain) with his terrible fumble last year vs the jets. I mean, dropping back to pass and fumbling the ball with under two to play, in your own zone, and with the lead is as much Coach Dick "the human cadaver" Jauron's fault as JP's.

Regardless, even with his career TDs (33) hovering right below career INTs (34) doesn't Bobby Boucher deserve a spot on someones bench as a number 2/3?

With the likes of Joey Harrington, John David Booty and Ms. Cleo "call me now" Lemon still on active rosters, doesn't this guy deserve a shot to hold a clipboard in a new system.

Put Joba back in the Bullpen

Listening to Mike Francesa for the past couple days he has been talking about how he feels Joba Chamberlain should be put back in the bullpen (and also that the Yanks won't do it). I have felt this way all year. I am definitely one who goes along with the belief that a dominant starting pitcher is more valuable to a team than a dominant reliever. It is self-evident that the player tossing more innings at a high-level is more important than the one tossing fewer innings. The problem is, Joba is a very average starting pitcher, and he is hurting the Yankees bullpen two-fold.

How is he hurting the bullpen in two ways? A) The Yankees obviously lose a dominant relief pitcher (Joba, one they have proven all year cannot be replaced by Veras, Bruney, Ramirez and all the others they have tried). B) He not only is an average starter - but he never goes deep in games therefore further taxing an already weakened bullpen.

Joba right now is fortunate to have a 4.00 ERA. His WHIP is near 1.60. While he is striking out nearly a batter per inning (thanks to his 12-K performance against Boston), he has allowed 25 walks and 6 HRs in just 45 innings. 9 starts. 45 IP. 6 no-decisions. His velocity is way down. This is the same guy who as a rookie gave up 1 run in his first 24 IP with 34 Ks to 6 BBs. Last year (mainly in the bullpen, with a few starts) he surrendered just 5 homers in 100 IP while striking out 118, while walking under 40 batters.

If Wang shows that he is at-all healthy and Hughes continues to progress, there is no reason to think those two can't pitch as well as Joba has as a starter (1.60 WHIP) and possibly better. On top of this all is the fact that Mariano Rivera is clearly nearing the end. The Yankees have been blessed with a rare power arm like Joba who could possibly step right in and be a top-notch closer right away (he won't be Mo of course, but no one is)...it makes far too much sense not to do, which is probably why the Yanks won't do it.

NBA Finals Picture Shaping Up

In a game in which the score was tied at the end of each of the first three quarters, the Nuggets came up short in the 4th quarter last night, falling down 3-2 in the series.

Since we agreed that whoever was "right" last night would mock the other man - I'm going to take a look at some of the Millman's points and see how (in)accurate he was.

Kobe vs. Melo. Not only does Mrs. Bryant hold a 7-3 advantage in the hotter girl poll, but Kobe got the W last night, scoring fewer points but playing a much more efficient game taking just 13 shots while dishing out eight assists. (To be clear here the loss was not Melo's fault, he had 31 so the non-wife part of Millman's argument may not have been too far off really)

Big Men. Well I'd like to say first off that someone must have finally notified Lamar Odom that the series has started because he was an absolute monster last night. 19 points, 14 rebs, 4 blocks. Odom honestly looked like the best player on the floor last night and that is what makes this Lakers team so good. Pau Gasol? Another very efficient double-double, 14/10...added some assists, steals and 5 huge blocks. ESPN put up a stat at one point deep into the 4th quarter that the Nuggets hadn't scored in the paint since there was 5:11 left in the 3rd quarter. Here is where I'd say this was thanks to Pau and Lamar blocking shots left and right, except I have to ask, did anyone else notice that they posted this two possessions after Linas Kleiza drove to the hoop, splitting two defenders, and made a lay-up? Terrible work as usual ESPN. As for Andrew Bynum, well did I mention there is a rumor he is dating Rihanna?

Birdman, Kenyon and Nene were badly outplayed last night, bottom line.

Home court advantage, or rather lack thereof? Actually, the Staples Center had some real life in the third quarter and obviously at the beginning of the fourth when the Lakers made what turned out to be the run that was the difference in the game (11-0 start to begin the quarter?).

On the bright side, as best I could tell the Nuggets still won the tattoo battle last night.

So now that I've ripped the Millman more than he probably deserves or needs this morning, the question becomes, are both of these series essentially over? The Cavs trail 3-1 with a home/road/home left. The Nuggets trail 3-2 with a home/road left. I still feel the Cavs are the most live team here. I don't think too many people expect the Magic to win game 5 in Cleveland, we should at least be headed for a 3-2 Magic lead, with one game in Orlando followed by one in Cleveland. Essentially, I feel it will come down to whether or not Lebron James can be absolutely heroic in game 6. If he goes into refuse-to-lose mode on the road and wills his team to victory, we'll be looking at a game 7 in Cleveland, where we ought not forget the Cavs are still 44-3 on the year. Are you really going to beat King James, at home, in a game 7? This Magic team is a fun-loving group that has been able to erase huge first-half deficits, but if you keep getting down big early, sooner or later you won't have enough to come back. I fully expect Cleveland to jump on them tonight and I won't be surprised if Orlando packs it in. And if they do no-show tongiht, I think it will be a grave mistake...Orlando has two chances to clinch this series in my eyes: tonight while the Cavs are still feeling down about themselves, and game 6 at home...but if they pack it in tonight and get buried, Cleveland may get their mojo back and the Magic may see the rug pulled from under them before they know what happened.

As for the Nuggets, I'm going to leave that for the Millman to touch on. I think they're drawing dead. I could easily see them taking game 6, but I don't think they beat the Lake Show in a game 7 (and feel there is a strong chance Lakers take the next one in Denver).

I refuse to start a third poll, but if I was going to I'd ask, which trailing team has a better chance of making the Finals, Nuggets or Cavaliers?

Hubie Brown was on Mike and Mike this morning and gave one of the most thorough, insightful, positively brilliant breakdowns on the Cavs-Magic series. If you have a few minutes, click the link and give it a listen, you will be a better fan for it:

http://sports.espn.go.com/stations/player?id=4211968

Millman and Birdman Sharing Same Pipe?

<--Mrs. Bryant vs. La La -->

First of all, this is essentially a direct response to the piece directly below this, so if you haven’t checked that out first, you’d be advised to do so. The Millman may be on the wrong side of this argument, but it is worth a read, if for no other reason than the one-liner about Kobe which I won’t spoil.

Well before I get into my defense of the Lakers, a few quick notes on last night / the Cavs-Magic series in general. First off, you’re nuts if you’re complaining about the foul call at the end of regulation that allowed the King to tie the game with .5 seconds left. Bottom line is, NBA refs are not going to let a game end while Lebron James hits the floor (with the defender not in position no less) and doesn’t even get a shot off. The Magic should consider themselves lucky that his second free throw went in, by the way – it was going to be the most tailor made tip-in by Varejao of all-time. On the other end, as Varejao and Howard got tangled up, it was a good no-call – honestly if anyone was fouled there it was Varejao. The refs, who I and most everyone else love to kill, had a bunch of extremely difficult calls last night, and I feel they were on the right side of most, if not all of them.

And after yet another incredible game we have to start considering the fact that we may be on the verge of having the best pair of conference championship series in the history of the NBA. With the Cavs down 3-1 now, that could be in jeopardy, but both of these series could easily still go 7 games, almost every game has been decided on the final shot, with only the last Lakers-Nuggets game really being a bore. I don’t recall two series ever both going to game 7 in the same year…and you really have to go back to the late 80’s, early 90’s golden age of the NBA to find both conference finals having this much juice.

I remember having a conversation (as the Magic were wiping out the Celtics in game 7) abut the conference championships where I made the – at the time unpopular – claim that if either the Cavs or Lakers were going to not make the finals, that the undefeated Cavs were the team in danger. Now, both teams are arguably in danger, but I still feel as strongly as ever (and most would now agree) – the Lakers will be in the NBA Finals waiting, but the King may not make it.

But why can’t the Lakers lose this series (currently 2-2)? For one, I maintain that the Nuggets are simply a lesser version of the Lakers. Both teams want to get out and run, unfortunately for Denver the Lake Show is more efficient on both ends of the floor. Both teams shoot it efficiently, but the Lakers control the boards…the only place I really see an advantage for Denver is their ability to get to the line, which is why I do think the Lakers home court advantage helps them – even if the entire crowd looks like they’re watching Jack Nicholson re-enacting About Schmidt.

As for the Millman’s claim that Kobe is a jump-shooter – he has been to the free throw line 53 times in the first four games. He has proven absolutely un-guardable all series even when Dahntay Jones is tripping more people than Julian ‘Frankenstein’ in Big Daddy.

The idea that La La Vasquez is somehow superior to Kobe’s wife is probably the Millman’s most ridiculous claim however. I love how he conveniently found Kobe’s wife’s worst picture and La La’s best…and it was still arguable who looked better. Huge advantage in the wife department to the Lake Show – a quick google search reveals a rumor that Andrew Bynum is dating Rihanna. I then bring to the table Pau Gasol’s wife:

The big men argument is almost laughable. Pau Gasol can score on Nene anytime he gets single coverage - quick shake, baseline, dunk. Repeat…the Lakers have not utilized this enough yet but it is there for them at any time. For the record, he has recorded a double-double every game…and the way he opens up the floor for that offense by always being in the right spot is so underrated. Odom hasn’t been special, but he’s rebounding a ton and doing exactly what Phil Jackson wants. Did I mention that Bynum is dating Rihanna? Meanwhile, all the Denver big men are the same exact players…shot-blocking, poor one-on-one defenders who offensively can do nothing but dunk and have been getting beaten on the boards (despite being a good rebounding unit).

Look, I love this Nuggets team. They have a player who made an appearance in a gang-related Stop Snitchin’ video (Melo), a recovering – and in my suspicion relapsing – drug addict freak (Bird Man), and the guy who netted the Knicks Antonio McDyess (Nene). They are exciting to watch. But really, what kind of crushing blow would it be for the NBA if somehow both Kobe and Lebron get knocked off before the finals? Can the season-long crash course that was the Cavs-Lake Show really turn into Magic-Nuggets? Orlando and Denver really? The same Denver team that has never made the NBA Finals in the franchises 32 years of existence? Can’t happen. Won’t happen. In one of the juiciest NBA seasons in recent memory there would be little juice for that NBA Finals. David Stern is too wise for that. His referees are too scared for that.

His referee

One more piece of real analysis – once the Lakers big men realize that they’re better off staying on Nene, Birdman and Kenyon and forcing the Nuggets guards to finish around the tin themselves, I think we see the Lakers take total control. That or if Kobe decides he wants to lock up on defense (a characteristic he can do like no other which has strangely not been employed by him yet this series as JR Smith is blowing by him with the greatest of ease, though he’s doing a good job of not letting him get his threes off). Unless Melo comes out in a vintage Orange jersey (which he practically has so far this series) then I really can’t see the inferior Nuggets getting it done here.

And last but not least, has anyone ever put a career in cruise control more than Spike Lee? After the masterpiece that was He Got Game, every “Spike Lee Joint” has been hot garbage. It’s as if you could plot his career path along the same curve as Public Enemy…once his favorite rap group lost it, he did too. Am I the only one who thinks that maybe Chuck D should get more credit for Do the Right Thing and He Got Game than Spike Lee himself in hindsight? Am I just crazy? Kobe Doin’ Work is probably the worst execution of a great idea I have ever seen. I literally thought it was a joke with insightful comments from Kobe such as “Here I take a jumpshot” and “that’s me running back down the court to play defense.” It was at times reminiscent of the infamous Ball St “Boom Goes the Dynamite” announcer as Kobe finds himself at a loss for words, check this clip and then watch the legendary footage if you have not seen it before:

Nuggets of Wisdom

For those of you who don’t know the mulldog and I very well let me comment that we are both NBA junkies. That being said we have some contrasting opinions of who will represent the Western Conference in the NBA Finals while the Nuggets and Lakers are at a 2-2 series stalemate. Lets first clear the air as I admit I am a Denver Nuggets fan…however, my allegiance to them is not why I think they will advance. Let’s check out the real reasoning the Nuggets will be in the NBA Finals….

Star Power: Kobe vs. Melo:
Listen, I am not going to sit here and go through some ridiculous argument that Melo is a better player then Kobe, just not going to happen. In fact, Kobe recently set the record for most conference final points through the first 4 games last night, Talk about Kobe Doin’ Work (thanks Spike Lee for one of the worst documentaries I have ever watched)! Kobe is still no questions asked the best closer in the game (speaking of The Closer I cringe when any game is shown on TNT because god knows we are going to see the damn commercial for the new season of The Closer 800 times).

Kobe is a jump-shooter at this point of career and you can see he did little to no penetrating in Denver so far this series (it’s not his fault, it's court ordered). Carmelo has done enough this post-season to merit being called a superstar and is slowly edging his way to top of the class. He has taken the challenge of playing both ways (offense and defense perverts), guarding Kobe, and making Bryant look like a child in the post grabbing offensive rebounds. The edge here obviously still goes to KB24, but not by as much as he is getting credit for. Let’s also take a look at their wives, which plays a small factor in my opinion. Kobe’s wife, who is surrounded by scandal and lies is not someone you want to associate yourself with. Carmelo’s wife, world famous MTV VJ La La Vasquez is all over the red carpets. Take that for what it's worth.

Big Men: Trio vs Trio:
For this breakdown we are pinning Nene, Kmart, and Chris “Birdman” Andersen vs Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum, and Lamar Odom.

Lets take a stab at the Lakers big girls to start. Pau Gasol (stolen from the Memphis Grizz) is a great player, but not a game changer. Pau could be effective, but they do not utilize him enough and its apparent as he is only averaging 10 shots per game. Andrew Bynum, age 16, still can’t play with the big boys, gets into feuds with Phil Jackson, and is nothing more then a complimentary player. As far as Odom goes, I am actually high on LO…Just not sure if anyone has told him the series started yet.

Nene, Kmart, and the Birdman hold the clear advantage (as evident as them all securing 13+ rebounds last night). Nene is finally playing to the level of his $60M dollar deal (how he got that coming straight off of knee surgery baffles me). Kenyon, currently playing with no knees if nothing more will be your enforcer and scrap. Any man with a tattoo of pink lips on his neck has to be scary, right? And finally the X Factor, the BirdMan. For those of you who haven’t checked out his story its worth a watch.(http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4205357&categoryid=2459788).

The BirdMan is the perfect role player willing to take the charge, rebound, and he will erupt the home crowd with his thunderous dunks and high flying swats….he will even quiet down the crowd when playing in LA…scratch that…they have no home court presence anyways.

Home Court Advantage?:

It does not bother me that the Nuggets have to win one at the Staples Center. Those fans don’t show up until the 2nd half starts and they are more concerned at watching the jumbo tron showing the celebrities in crowd. The celebrities themselves don’t care about the Lakers either. They are just there so they can watch themselves the next day when TMZ reports on every move they make. “Is Leo DiCaprio trying to watch his weight, we saw him eat nothing during the game and even had a diet green tea in hand…two words Leo, Anti-Oxidants!”

Denver will have no problem winning one in LA.

Head Coaching: Karl vs Jackson:

Sort of in parallel to our Kobe vs Melo conversation I am not going to tell you George Karl is a better head coach. In fact, I think Karl is a lousy coach and essentially sits on the sidelines and gains weight. My point here is that Phil Jackson isn’t all he’s cracked out to be. Sure he has 9 NBA championships, but I am convinced you could have all-star, hot as a pistol, Jason "J Mac"McElwain, as your head coach and still win finals with the talent Jackson has had.

After all it's not to hard to win championships with Michael Jordan, Scotty Pippen, Shaquille O’Neal, and Kobe Bryant. These championships were more about the players and less about the “Zen Masters” Triangle offense. Phil Jackson only got the LA coaching job because he was sleeping with the owner’s daughter Jeanie Buss in the first place. So Phil Jackson you keep being the “great” coach that you are and stick your fingers in your mouth and whistle and pretend you are doing something while you sit on your elevated throne on the bench.

Intangibles: Nuggets have them, Lakers don’t:

If my points above don’t help my argument about Denver’s ability to win, let me sprinkle these “Nuggets” into the post for you (You see what I did there, I used Nuggets to represent both small facts, and the basketball team…it’s called journalism, don’t worry about it). The Nuggs have the best point guard left in the playoffs in Chauncey B-B-Billups. Mr. Big Shot will make a statement in one of the final remaining games the way he did in the first two series vs the Hornets and Mavs.

Also, the Nuggets have one of the best benches in basketball. Leinas Kleiza the Lithuanian all-star, the BirdMan, and last but not least J.R. Smith all bring big time scoring to the court. Finally, the Nuggets lead the league in this all important NBA stat: Most team tattoos: Carmelo Anthony, Chris Andersen, J.R. Smith, and Kmart all host sleeves of tattoos. You can guarantee (yes you, Mark Cuban) that this group of thugs will be storming to the NBA finals.

What is the Pewch Revolution?

The pewch revolution is a blog about two men who will touch upon a range of sports subjects giving you their opinions and outlooks of the state of sports past, present, and future. For those of you unfamiliar to the word pewch, lets first start off by stating that it’s a lifestyle. Deriving from the word putrid originally, pewch is a word founded in Webster, NY and has been spreading its way to SUNY Fredonia where the millman and mulldog attended college. Bobby Miller aka the millman now resides in Virginia/DC and Dan Mullen aka the mulldog lives in Kingston NY….The word pewch is hard to define. It’s a way of life that includes a man’s constant mishaps, awkward and embarrassing moments, bad decisions, and failures. The millman is undoubtedly pewch, the mulldog is absolutely pewch, and after spending some time with us you will soon realize (if you haven’t already) you are also pewch.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Pewch Revolution.

Stay Thirsty My Friends,

M&M (Millman and Mulldog)

Jose Canseco Gets 'Juiced' Up

Hong Man Choi welcomed Jose to the world of MMA with a quick defeat. Mark McGwire was reportedly found in a roadside ditch in Las Vegas after hours of partying with Juan Gonzalez, Albert Belle and Jason Giambi.