Billboard City

Do the Buffalo bills realize that your supposed to get talent to win championships. I am talking about monsters with freakish ability that stay in school for minimum amount of time and only pass classes because they are on the football team. A coach from Yale, a starting QB from Stanford, and a backup QB from Harvard. You can't write this stuff.



For the record, I called the loss to the browns and the win against the jets two weeks before either game was played to mulldog. It's classic Bills football. They are going 7-9 folks. They will find a way to keep it interesting for a couple more weeks. I just hope Fitzpatrick can win a few games so we don't have to see Captain Check down anymore and we can officially draft a new QB to add to the long list of failures.



Main point of this post is to just show you a picture of the billboard referenced in a previous story.

Buffalo Billboards

Ryan Abshagen is the new hero of Buffalo NY. Yes fans are unhapy with the team. God knows you have seen enough of this blog to know that I am unhappy with the team. Mr. Abshagen, an unemployed 18 year old, has taken matters into his own hands. By the way, I like how websites are making it known this guy is unemployed....he is only 18 years old folks, not a huge deal. Regardless, this saint raised about $1,500 through the Internet to rent a billboard.
The Billboard will read:

"It's time to clean house, RALPH"

Then a checklist of three names:

Jauron (head coach)

Tom Modrak (College scout)

John Guy ( VP of Pro personnel)

This may not be the most creative idea, but nothing like driving on 190 and seeing this flash over 3,000 times a day. Its a disgrace and the fact that nothing has been done is just pitiful. I would actually consider dropping $500 dollars with 3 friends to get a billboard hung in Buffalo for a week and publicity. Mine would be much more brutal though.

Potential Ideas:

*A puppet Master controlling Ralph Wilson's limp, slumped over body.

*Five fat pigs in Bills Uniforms with the phrase, "These fat little pigs can block better then the Buffalo Bills line."

*Picture of me and my qualifications pining for the next head coaching job

*A picture of Fred Jackson with a thought bubble next to him saying, "I wish I could go back to DIII Coe College, Arena league, or the USFL and play with a real team again."

*A picture of Marshawn Lynch as a werewolf with the entire 53 man roster slained beneath him screaming, "Beast Mode"

*A picture of Terrell Owens crying in his dark sunglasses crying next to a picture of Trent Edwards saying, "That is NOT my quarterback man"

*A skeleton body next to the phrase, "Dick, the human cadaveour, Jauron."

A Costly Win

I have to imagine that Donte Whitner made a deal with the Devil before Sundays game against the Buccaneers. Whitner, a Safety for the Bills, has been a solid player over his 3 years, but has not really lived up to the hype of the #8 pick out of THE Ohio State University. Then again, most critics bashed the pick because no one thought he would go that high. I am pretty sure the Bills strategy was that Michael Huff was taken a few picks earlier by the Raiders, and he was the next best. Well Huff and Whitner, 3 years later, are starting to play. Huff has 3 INTs on the year andWhitner had a pick 6 against the Buccs for his first NFL Touchdown.

Why I bring up the deal with the Devil is because Whitner's home in Hamburg, NY was just robbed for $400K. This is the 2nd straight week a Bills player will come home from a game and find their house messed with. I can't wait to see who gets picked on next week. The funny thing is, both McKelvin last week and Whitner this week don't want to press charges. If I lived in the Buffalo area I would just hope the trend continues and wreak havoc with no concequences.

The conversation with the Devil must have gone like this:

Whitner: "Please Satan, I was caught crying at the press conference last week, I just can't bare another loss. Can you please let us win, and maybe can I even do something good, like make an impact play for the firs time in my career."

Devil: "Well Donte, even I have a hard time gauranteeing a win out of the Buffalo Bills. It is going to cost you quite a pretty penny...."

Whinter: "Please Satan, I swear I will do anything!"

Devil: "Fine! The Bills will win and you will get an INT. In return you will allow one of my devil children to steal your jewerly while at the stadium."

Whitner: "Deal, I have so much of my rookie bonus tied up in Jewerly that they can take as much as they want. God knows I have spend atleast 2Million in bling for me and my boyz....any chance you can muster up an Interception return?"

Devil: :Ughhh fine, just don't press charges...and I am going to injure Derek Schouman, Brad Butler, Leodis McKelvin, and Shawn Nelson."

Whitner: "Yout got a deal."

End Scene

B-B-B-B-B Biiillllllsss

Man it is good to have football back in our lives. I spent all of Saturday noon to midnight on the couch. Only to make my way to bed, wake up at 11 for pregame, and spend 1 pm to 12am on my couch again watching football. It was a tough weekend.

Mulldog gave you the breakdown of the weeks biggest stories. A couple other brief things to touch on before I go into my review of tonight's games.

• Tampa Bay was extremely susceptible to the big play on Sunday, giving up long plays to not one, not two, but all three of the Cowboys receivers. Miles Austin, P Crayton, and Roy E. Williams all had some buck nasty long td's that did the Buccaneers in. It was however impressive and a feel good story to see Cadillac Williams back to form running hard after having both knees blown out already in his career. Let's see if he can run that hard all season.


• Drew Brees. 6 tds. Legit. It was against the Lions I know, but 6 tds is 6 tds.


• Jake Delhomme was re-upped this offseason with a guaranteed $20M. Looks like the Panthers wisely spent $4M per turnover...in the first game. 4 INTs, and a fumble lost. Jake was not able to bounce back from that horrid playoff performance.


• Shocker of the week had to be KC hanging with Baltimore, in Baltimore, with no Cassel. Baltimore got a last second TD to widen the gap, but the game was down to the wire.



• Breaking News. Brian Urlacher out for the season after breaking his right wrist. This guy was primed to come back healthy for the first time in two season. I really like this guy, and he is a great LB. It is a shame he can't stay on the field and be the menace he was early in his career. Tough loss for him and the Bears.



• Defending NFC west champs looks awful on Sunday. Kurt Warner can't move, and I can't imagine the 49ers defense is that good that they should stifle Fitz and Boldin for most of the game like that.

Now on to tonight's game. It will be a doozy in New England Tonight. As far as Aaron Maybin is concerned he doesn't see it being a problem while he tweeted..."U gettin strait mayhem tonight wit no chaster. Lets Go!" Very promising....

I received a call from an unidentified Fredonia, NY source that Saturday night Eric Moulds and Lee Evans were patrolling the bars of SUNY Fredonia. Moulds was a common visitor over the course of my tenure at the school. I confirmed that Buffalo did not leave for NE until Sunday so the story checks out. Good to see our star receiver is out drinking and partying with 18 year olds before a huge game. I got a tip from another source out of Mulldogs camp that Moulds and Evans were there, and Evans was opening up on the game...Mulldog received a voicemail 3 am on Sunday from our source who had the following to share:

“Yo mull, whats up dude, its ____. You want gambling tips? I got gambling tips for you. Put the mortgage on the ****** Patriots against the Bills, and I got exactly the reason why you should do that. It is actually Sunday right now and yeah the Bills play the Patriots on Monday and I just met Lee Evans in Fredonia, ****** hammered, and I got a picture to prove it. he’s got to get on a plane or I think he said bus tomorrow. My brother talked to him on the phone and yeah. So yeah, put the mortgage against the Bills. Cause why the *** isn’t he in New England right now? And I swear on my mother like, he was here. Dude, unreal. Unreal. I met Eric Moulds, you know Eric Moulds. And I met ***** Lee Evans. So get at me. Later homie."

After receiving that voicemail Mulldog called his source back and he went on to say that Evans Quoted that Donte Whitner said "Tom Brady is looking weak....he will go on to expose us anyways."

All that being said, I like the Bills here. Patriots are 0-6 last 6 games they have been favored by double digits. I take the points, and I take the Bills Straight Up Money Line. Buffalo is obviously relaxed and not worried about the game. Why should they be. I have already ranted on the specifics on why they win. So just win baby.

Speaking of just win baby, the Raiiiiiders play tonight to. Should be a laugher as I expect LT to do his typical damage against the Raids (something like 26 tds in 15 games vs them). Mike and Mike will be calling the game so that should tell you what ESPN thinks of this match up. Can't wait for tonight. I will be at the Bills Bar in Georgetown rooting on my squad. Please don't get blown out. I can't take it anymore.

Even I have lost Hope.

I have now spent three straight evenings arguing with my roomates trying to give false hope to the Bills season. I was even is such a heated debate that I left my chicken on the grill for 45 minutes and forgot about it. 45 minutes pass, Bills still horrible, chicken is pure charcoal. Nice Life.

Horrible comments have come out of my mouth such as

"Alex Van Pelt is the truth, he can't do any worse than Turk Schonert"
"Dude we will be fine, there was a report out of practice today that we were actually throwing a ball down the field."
"The last time we played the Pats opening day we throttled them 31-0, history always repeats itself"
"I think the Bills are just trying to trick everyone, they haven't shown any of their offense this offseason"
"2 rookies, a backup center, a 7th round pick who was inactive 14 games last year, and a journeyman guard converted tackle, who cares, this line will be hungry."

Okay I have finally cracked. This team is bad. And the one to push me off the edge was one of my favorite columists ESPN's Bill Simmons. I am drawn to his humor and pop culture references, his love for Boston Sports, and his articles. Well Bill Simmons, you hardly write articles anymore, all you do are podcasts which I don't listen to you because your voice is nasaly, and you just bashed my beloved team. Please see quote below...

Prediction I: The Buffalo Bills will finish with the worst record in football, allowing T.O. to star in the worst NFL season and second worst reality show in the same year. I would have given T.O.'s show "worst reality show" status, but you can't top "Megan Wants A Millionaire" going off the air because one of Megan's bachelors allegedly killed his wife and tried to get rid of her by cramming her into a suitcase. I mean, when VH1 pulls a show because something bad happened, you KNOW something bad happened.

Laughing stocks of the league.

AVP comes to save the season

Breaking News: Bills have cut starting Left Tackle Langston Walker, resigning recently cut Kirk Chambers....Does this make room for Demetrius Bell aka Jason Peters Jr aka Karl Malone's love child? Things are only getting better.

Okay so we have all heard the news that the Bills fired Offensive Coordinator this past Friday. Turk Schonert is gone, and he is going down swinging. I am not sure how much stock you can take in preseason, but the way the Bills performed, specifically the first team offense, was dreadful. The no huddle attack looked about as sharp as a backyard football game of kill the carrier. Speaking of Kill the Carrier, what a great game. Literally just pick up the ball and run around until 8 of your buddies just tackle and throw you to the ground, then the next sorry sap picks up the ball and it repeats again.

Anyways, back to Turk going down swinging, he took some serious jabs at Skeletor Jauron saying that he wanted him to run a "pop warner" offense and that he was on his back all throughout preseason. Well hell Turk, If you are going to have the 1st team offense score zero touchdowns (and the NFL even gave you a 5th preseason game) then you are not going to have any say in anything. The offense was bland last year, and the no huddle was supposed to invigorate this sorry squad. I know that the Bills did not have T.O for basically the entire off season, but its still no excuse.

The no huddle plays perfectly to the Buffalo Bills Strengths. The line is a huge question mark, filled with new starters, other teams scraps, and two promising rookie guards, but rookies none the less. You run the no huddle to tire out the defensive line and keep everyone on edge. They definitely between T.O, Evans, Lynch and Freddie Jackson have enough skill to move the ball. Trent Edwards has been hit hard this off season with negative thoughts on how he can't or won't throw the deep ball and is too conservative. whatever the case may be, the offense has looked so bad that even I have a hard time being optimistic. But lets not forget that NO one, and I mean NO ONE, circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. This squad started off 4-0 last year, and failed mightily down the stretch. It all starts Monday Night, where the Bills will unveil their new white Throwbacks, and their new prize T.O who is a first year warrior with new teams. Alex Van Pelt has so much experience with calling the plays, as we all know his successful year calling plays for the NFL Europe's Frankfurt Galaxy.

This Patriots Squad is so unbelievably over-hyped I can't wait till we roll in to Foxboro, prime time and get our first win over the Pats since 2003 when we stole Lawyer Milloy 3 days before the game, stole their plays, and won 31-0. May have been the happiest day of my life seeing big Sammy Adams rumble down the sideline for a pick 6 opening game. Since that game we are a giant 0-87 being outscored by 678 pts, or something to that degree.

Lets take a look at this patriots team. Tom shaky knee, entourage staring, model wifing, shoulder inflamed, dimple chinned, dog carrying, pretty boy jackass is gonna have a terrible year. This cat sucks, such an overrated QB. Give me that system and I am throwing for at least 20 tds and making the playoffs. I am so sick of this man and Aaron Maybin is gonna knock him out cold. Losing Josh McDaniels is another thing that could hurt this team, not always easy to switch offensive coordinators that early in the off season. You are much better off waiting 4-5 days before your first game, it makes a big difference. Okay the offense should still produce, even though they have a RB committee that resembles a High School Football team. So washed up and bad.

The defense is why this team is gonna crash and burn. Richard Seymour, gone traded to the Raiders. Mike Vrabel, gone traded to the Chiefs. Tedy Bruschi, gone retired. Lewis Sanders, gone not with the team anymore. Ellis Hobbs, gone, traded to the Eagles. Rodney Harrison, gone, retired. That is a lot of STARTING players to lose, let alone absolute club house leaders.

We are going into Foxboro, shutting up the Boston Fans, who might rank #1 for biggest losers in the world and getting the W. Pre-season means nothing. You have all been warned.

Get on the Wagon before its too late. BUFFALO BILLS making the PLAYOFFS first time in a decade. Boom. Roasted.

Captain Check Down.

This is why the City of Buffalo has so much hope. Oh Just throw the ball to Leeeee!!

Revenge falls short

Sure it may have been ten years later. And well, it may have just been a pre-season game. Okay, the first pre-season game, and the hall of fame game. But it was finally time for the Buffalo Bills to strike revenge on the Tennessee Titans for the god awful forward pass Music City Miracle. The bills are fighting a brutal 10 year absence from the playoffs so maybe beating the Titans and exercising the evil devils would set them right for the season.

Or maybe on the opening drive a rookie punter would just take fake a punt and run 40 yards for the touchdown and put the Bills away for good. It took me a good solid 5 minutes to remember that it is preseason and that it doesn't matter. Bills came out looking great in their new solid white throwbacks. There is no question about it the Bills should be playing in those and their royal blue throwbacks all season. So much sharper than the arena league (RIP) junk they wear now. Titans looked good in their baby blue Oiler garb as well.

T.O had a great first series, catching 2 balls for 27 yards before calling it a day. Trent Edwards and the bills offense were pretty sharp to start, introducing the no huddle offense that they are going to be running all year. Or should I say they will be running it for the first series of the year, going 3 and out, and abandoning it forever. Especially when they are getting crushed by the Patriots opening night. Funny how one preseason game can change the whole outlook on a season. Speaking of the Patriots, did anyone see Tom Brady's Emmy winning performance on Entourage last night. What I had anticipated as a brief cameo, turned into an half hour long guest spot. Even Tom Brady's golf swing was perfect. What a guy. I sat there and wondered why do I hate this man. He really doesn't come across as a bad guy, doesn't say anything terrible to the media. He is flat out a winner. Scores touchdowns, Mvps, Superbowl's, and beautiful babies. whats not to like. If he can win Turtle over, he can win me over. Plus, look at that face.

Back to the game, Trent Edwards launched a brutal Interception after a nice looking drive. I blame the INT to rookie guard Andy Levitre who just got uprooted and driven 10 yards back into Trent's face. Not much to interesting happened. Lendalle White has a jawbone, as evident by shedding 30 lbs solely by not drinking Patron apparently. Vince Young looked pretty awful. How can two absolutely stud Quarterbacks (Leinart and Young) just fade off into the sunset after wowing us all during their College years and playing in what could be the greatest national championship game of all time. They are now rotting behind two gray veterans in Warner and Collins, and apparently fighting to even be 2nd string battling out St. Pierre and Patrick Ramsey. Yuck.

I ended up catching some of the Hall of Fame ceremonies since Grandpa Wilson and Bruce Smith were being inducted. Berman had a great speech as he presented for Wilson. Ralph then ended up going on stage and I think he mentioned every game he ever saw since 1950. He had a couple solid points and actually looked alive on stage. I was convinced for several years that he was being controlled by strings like a puppet. Best line when was he wanted to mention that the parade was great and lavish, and he said it was appalling. Everyone was confused....poor Ralph.

All in all it was great to watch some live football and I am pumped for the season and for fantasy. Should be a good one...NV Blues update to follow...