Sometimes Life is Funny

Seeing that I received something from Fredonia in the mail today, I had only one thought, "With one week until the completion of my internship and subsequently my degree, SUNY Fredonia has finally wisened up and kicked me out of school." Untrue, as it turned out. In fact, Fredonia was - yet again - praising the Mulldog. Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, today I accept Fredonia's selection of yours truly, the Mulldog, as Comeback Student of the Year:



"The Mulldog would like to thank his girlfriend (shocking to readers, the Mulldog knows). Funny how the Mulldog was a regular Dean's Lister for the beginning his collegiate career, collecting a cumulative 3.6 GPA. Then he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, became one of Fred's pewchest, never saw the Dean's List again and stayed on extra semesters. Low and behold, Spring '09, the Mulldog suckers a lady into dating him and there he is, cold lampin' with the SUNY Fredonia Humanitites Dean, Mr. John K-Something. Thank you and best wishes, may we never meet again."

Fredonia Struggles to Cope with Loss of the Mulldog

Giving an otherwise limp, lifeless, small village in Western New York (AKA Pennsylvania, AKA Ohio, AKA Canada) five strong years of pewchness, I was forced into retirement after finally completing almost all of my courses. Leaving Fredonia I could almost feel the wind coming from the sails as I hit the thruway to travel across the state back to Eastern New York.

Now, roughly two months after my departure, in what could only be described as a frantic, last-ditch attempt to salvage the greatness of the Mulldog, SUNY Fredonia has done what they should have done over five years ago, and made the Mulldog the centerpiece to their website:
http://www.fredonia.edu/

That's right, finally after five years of rotating the ten minority students present on campus into every picture on the front page, Fredonia has decided to scrap such a technique in favor of the back of the Mulldog's head. Sitting front and center (where else?) the Mulldog is clearly engrossed in a riveting lecture on Descartes's theory of Difference. Shamelessly sporting an imposter "Fredonia Student-Athlete Day" shirt and the legendary crooked "*61" hat, the Mulldog is actively passing Critical Theory on his second vaunted attempt.

I'm not sure what type of royalties I am entitled to, but I'm pretty sure Fredonia should be paying for my summer internship, at least.