You Have the 1st Pick in the 2009 Draft:

Today we're going to do it a little different. Instead of giving you a star, we're going to give you your choice of the 2009 NBA Draft class. Blake Griffin, the consensus first overall pick is obviously who most would take, but an argument can be made for Ricky Rubio and Hasheem Thabeet .. and I suppose others could be argued.

Mulldog Marauders:
C: Emeke Okafor - Hate to use someone Millman used earlier but I want to make sure I have a solid defensive center to go along with Blake Griffin. With these two big guys the team should rebound a ton, and Okafor will block some shots. Lots of bulk down low.
PF: Blake Griffin - I hate him, I really do. He comes off as a whiny bitch to me. That said his college production was simply too good to ignore. He was the best player in the country (maybe Ty Lawson?) and holds the most NBA potential. He will rebound and has the athleticism to score around the rim. Not a good free throw shooter and I don't expect his transition to the NBA to be real smooth, but simply too good to pass up as much as I love Rubio.
SF: Thaddeus Young - Underrated player coming into his own. Can defend, get to the hoop, and not a terrible shooter either. Again developing an athletic team.
SG: Kevin Martin - The Western Carolina grad can simply fill it up, and that is what this team needs. Despite his pewch form, he can stroke it from deep with ease. A volume scorer on that terrible Kings team, Martin could shoot a little lower volume and raise his efficiency on this team - but would still be the primary scorer.
PG: Rajon Rondo - This assures that this team will rebound with any team in the league. Rondo is becoming a bigtime PG in the league but isn't up there with CP3, Williams, Nash, Billups just yet. Calderon arguably a better fit on this team, but I already used him. On top of that Rondo was gaining more and more confidence with his outside shot as the season went along and into the playoffs..I don't think it's necessarily a good thing if he starts taking more jumpers, but having the threat available will make it easier for him to get to the hoop where he is so good.
6th man: Boris Diaw - Here is a guy who can play and guard multiple positions. Good shooter and passer, would open up the floor for Martin and Griffin and can take some pressure off Rondo by running the offense through him at times.


With the first pick in the 2009 NBA Draft...the Millman's MonStars select....
JONNY FLYNN?! Wow a shocker out of coach millman, lets try to get a quick interview...

Jay Billas: Millman, though Flynn had an excellent career for Jimmy B, how can you justify taking him number one overall?
Millman: Bilas your pewch pal. My boy J Flynn is the truth and has a smile that can light up any town.
Bilas: Um I have a law degree I am not pewch
Millman: Pal, your pewch, Flynn is the pick.

Well you can see after that insightful interview I am going to have a team built around J Flynn.

Center: Etan Thomas will bring some serious strength inside with his 6 ppg average and huge 4.9 rebounds. Love the pick here.

PF: Hakeem Warrick. Any man who solidified the happiest moment in the millmans sad existence (get that crap outta here Keith Langford) deserves a shot on my team. Hakeem is actually a solid player and Memphis has given him more and more minutes once Gasol was inexplicably dumped for .30 cents on the dollar. His ability to run, defend the paint, and dunk will help my boy J flynn.

SF: Carmelo Anthony. Not going to take much time describing him since we all know how buck nasty he is. I know this bucks the "rules" of the game. But I am the GM, Coach, and Team captain so Melo stays.

SG: Gerry McNamara. Gerry makes a huge comeback from his stints overseas and in the NBDL and finally gets a shot in an nba uniform. If Chris Quinn is playing in the Leauge, then by god someone get Gmac in here. Johnny will love penetrating and hitting this assasin from downtown and he will relieve pressure of Carmelo.

PG: Jonny Flynn. Still depressed Johnny declared for the draft. There were some strong rumors he wanted to stay 4 years and I think if he came back the team would be a top 5 team (depending if bonehead Devendorf and Harris realized they should play another year). Flynn is going to be an electric point gaurd folks. I think we will be talking about him as one of the elite in the years to come.

6th man: Give me Darryl Mookie Watkins to add some size to this team and Demetrius Nichols coming off the bench for a spark.

So here is the thing, does this all SU Orange NBA squad do any damage in the NBA. Clearly their frontcourt struggles, but do Melo, J Flynn, and Warrick atleast make them competitive?

Upset Special Prediction: Monfils to beat Federer today

I'll risk looking like a fool as Roger Federer has everything to play for. With Rafa Nadal stunningly being upset by Robin Soderling, Federer has his best (and probably last) chance to win the one Grand Slam event that has evaded him. Winning the French Open would probably cement him as the tennis GOAT (Greatest of All-Time). The last Frenchman standing, Gael Monfils is a very talented clay court player however, as this clip shows his athleticism, I think we are going to see Federer fall today. Feel free to kill me if Fed proves too much, but don't say I didn't warn you when Monfils gets it done on the home-clay.

I'm Team Captain and I choose you...

Here is a little clip that pretty much sums up the life of the millman and mulldog. Though we would never be caught dead in a Jmarc jersey. If you thought we were pewch, these guys might even be worse...but then again they are famous and the millman and mulldog are...well....the millman and mulldog.

Get CP3 a Ring

Todays star is Chris Paul. Same rules apply.

Mulldog Maruaders:
PG: CP3 - Would like to get an athletic team that can get out and run with him, not too different from the one he currently has. He gets a ton of assists due to his great ability to alley-oop it to Chandler, so I don't want to starve him of that.
SG: JR Smith - Great athlete who can stretch a defense, but can also get penetration. I think that is the biggest problem with that Hornets team, they don't have anyone other than Paul that can get to the hoop.
SF:Trevor Ariza - This team will get a ton of steals and will run. Ariza a great finisher on the fast break and will stretch the defense along with JR to give CP3 room to work.
PF: Jason Maxiel - No clue why the Pistons don't give him his deserved PT. Can truly do it all.
C: Yao Ming - Could you make the argument that he is better than CP3? I don't think so, gives Paul a true sidekick, can hit the mid-ranger as well as Pual and Maxiel.
6th man - Chris "Bird Man" Anderson - Basically a better shot-blocking, lesser rebounding version of Tyson Chandler.

Milldog's MonStars:

PG: CP3.
SG: Completely agree with Mullen that CP3 has no gaurd help and untill he does I don't think him and solid big men will ever get the job done. He needs a consistent scorer by his side. My vote for SG is Ben Gordon. Gordon is a solid player who can light it up and is the perfect compliment to CP3. Very JR Smith like.

SF: Ron Artest. Here is the lock down defender that at this stage of career is no more than a role player who can occasionaly light it up. He will provide some scoring, but more importantly for this team, the ability to lock down the other teams top offensive player. Plus any time you can get a ticking time bomb on a made up squad I almost feel you have to pull the trigger.

PF: Al Horford. Horford is going to be your down low scraper. The man is going to get your 10 (9.3 to be exact) rebounds inside and he will certainly scrap.

C: I will take Bogut's 11.7 ppg and 10.2 rebounds per game. This former #1 pick outta Utah may never amount to much, but he is solid and with Artest and Horford on the squad I think you can afford a "softer Center"

6th Man: With Artest Horford and Bogut you have some decent size and toughness on the front line so my sixth man is Ronnie Brewer. This is a guy that is athletic, fits with the team, and can run up and down and dunk on CP3s fast breaks.

The New York Lebrons

Lebron James is going to be a New York Knickerbocker.

Finally, people are realizing that he isn't staying in Cleveland. True he went to high school there, but why did everyone really believe he would stay there? This is the same kid who went on record as saying he wanted to be bigger than basketball, that he wanted to be "a global enterprise." Cleveland is not the place you become a global enterprise. Cleveland is the place you go to be miserable. It's the city so ugly and uncreative they named their football team after the ugliest color light produces. It's best known for Drew Carey. Cleveland has not won a championship since the '64 Browns. They are best known for The Drive, The Fumble and The Shot (all of which went against them). The fans themselves believe the city is cursed...and while it's a nice thought that Lebron could finally bring them a championship, no one outside of Ohio cares at all about the city on any day other than election night.

(Browns fans are pewch and I can prove it.)

King James is no fool, he and his advisers know how big he will be in New York. You thought Brett Favre was big in New York? Lebron will be bigger. You think A-Rod is big in New York? Lebron will dwarf him. Think of what would have happened if Michael Jordan went to the Knicks. That is what this is. This is New York City getting hoops back. The electricity is going to be felt around the block from Madison Square Garden as soon as you get off the train at Grand Central Station.

Donnie Walsh has quietly done a brilliant job making shrewd trades and getting the Knicks ready to make a run at Lebron. They have $25 M coming off the cap this year. And then the beauty of it all is that for the 2010/2011 season they have just $18 M locked up in Eddy Curry, Jared Jeffries (both player options which will be exercised) and team options for Danilo Gallinari (3.3 M) and Wilson Chandler (2.1 M). Two things here, obviously this is not the cast that Lebron is going to want to surround himself with. The Knicks could pitch to him however that they could use the $17 M coming off the cap in the form of Curry and Jeffries to get him his "Scottie Pippen" the following year (and obviously they will be signing some other role players). Lebron is obviously going to get the biggest deal in NBA history, but but so little money on the cap the Knicks will still have money to sign some other players (not to mention the 8th pick in this years draft could net a solid player, Steph Curry would compliment Lebron well, no?).

The other big thing is what to do with the Knicks best two young players - Nate Robinson and David Lee. Their two contracts are the ones they don't want to lose, but they are both up at the end of next year. The Knicks have a couple options, they can look to extend either or both....or they could sign and trade them. In my opinion David Lee is a perfect fit as a complimentary player to Lebron. He rebounds with the best of them and is a great finisher around the hoop. He would become an all-star type player with Lebron, I'd be willing to bet on that. Nate on the other hand, as much as I like him, should probably be shipped out. Though not a bad option as a 6th man off the bench that can help Lebron to handle the scoring load at times...he ultimately isn't the point guard you really want with Lebron. Hell, I hate Chris Duhon but I feel I'd rather have him out there, just bring it up, dish it to Lebron, play defense and knock down an occassional three.

With the Knicks new-found financial flexibility and the allure of the city of New York, Lebron has the perfect opportunity to become even larger than he already is. The city of New York has not seen a basketball championship since Willis Reed was lacing them up ('70 and '73). Anyone who brings the Knicks a championship will be heralded as a savior - if Lebron does it, he will become a global enterprise.

The NBA is coming off a successful season, people who haven't watched since Jordan started to follow again. It just took a little hit when Lebron got knocked off (even though we could be in for an extremely entertaining, high scoring NBA finals), all the NBA needs right now is to get the Knicks back. David Stern knows this, he has said as much in public (enter your comments on the Patrick Ewing conspiracy theory now). If you don't think Stern is going to have a shotgun to the back of Lebron's head until he signs the dotted line for James Dolan (Knicks owner), you don't have enough respect for the world's most stringent dictator (Mr. Stern).

*Editing in a quick note about the whole "Lebron didn't shake hands thing." First of all, it's a non-story. I can't believe how much attention it has garnered and while I suppose we are adding to it I just want to say that no one on Earth should care whether or not Lebron James shook hands with Magic players after the game. Not you, not me, not Jesus Christ, and certainly not Dwight Howard. I love how everyone is acting like Lebron is the first player to do this...Dwight Howard is coming off as much more of a bitch by acting all hurt about it in interviews...everyone thinks Lebron James isn't being a good friend to Dwight Howard by shaking his hand after the game? What about Dwight Howard not covering for his boy who was clearly upset? He should have simply downplayed it, instead we've had about 3 days of coverage about shaking freaking hands, on the heels of the NBA finals. Rant over.

*Additional edit, thanks to reader B-Wrix:

You're An NBA GM: Build a Championship Team

In anticipation of the NBA Finals starting on Thursday, each day until then the Millman or I will be selecting an NBA "Star" with the idea of building a supporting cast around him that could "reasonably expect to win a championship." We will each make our own separate teams with some analysis and encourage you all to build your own squads.

Some stipulations:

While strict adherence to the salary cap will not be taken, you are supposed to be reasonable, understanding NBA contracts, so you can't fill every team with Rashard Lewis, Joe Johnson, Carlos Boozer and Yao Ming. The idea is to spot role players that would compliment the star well. This is not to say he can't have a real good sidekick, but just be reasonable.
Also, the "star" should be the best player on the team. You are building around him, not with him. So that rules out anyone ever picking Kobe Bryant or Lebron James and such. If you're not sure if the player is too good to be on the team, he probably is. This rule is mainly so that you can't just find a bunch of guys on rookie contracts and say "well my team is way under the salary cap." You're not getting Lebron, Wade, Howard and Chris Paul on the same team, I don't care what their current salaries are.

And while we aren't doing this based on actual salaries or the cap, if you want to look up a player's salary, I recommend this great site:

http://hoopshype.com/salaries.htm

So without further ado, today we are giving you a lay-up (perhaps more aptly put a slam dunk):

Amare Stoudemire


The Mulldog Marauders:
C: Marcus Camby - Incredibly good defender. Blocks shots, rebounds and goes along with the athletic nature of the team.
PF: Amare Stoudemire - While very tempting to make him the center, given the lack of depth at the position, Amare just doesn't rebound enough for my liking at center. He can obviously score, and he'll block some shots, but needs a strong rebounding mate and defender to pair with.
SF: Shawn Marion - The Matrix just makes this a ridiculously athletic 3/4/5 combination that teams will struggle to deal with, especially if they can get the ball to Calderon in transition. While he makes a ton this season his stock has dropped to where he probably isn't a totally unreasonable piece on this team. He adds a strong defensive presence while being able to (somehow) keep the floor stretched with his three-point range.
SG: Rudy Fernandez - Thought JR Smith was asking too much here (and that was before I switched Sam Dalembert to Marcus Camby), so I'll go with the less-heralded and lower volume player in Fernandez. Shoots it at 40% from deep and doesn't need the ball at all times. A pretty decent perimeter defender that will take the charge and is pesky, like the fit.
PG: Jose Calderon - If this team scares me in an area it is that it lacks good passers. Enter Jose Calderon, one of the best assist/turnover PG's in the game and another assassin from deep. Him and Amare running the pick and roll with Rudy and Marion camped out beyond the arc could be deadly - especially with Camby looking to clean the glass on any misses.
6th man: Kevin Love. Since this isn't a great passing team outside the PG (though I think Rudy will improve there) and I'm a little concerned that Camby won't be able to stretch the defense enough to let the pick-and-roll be effective against superior defenses / obvious injury concerns, another good interior player with a little more range and passing skills seems necessary (and his lack of athleticism isn't a problem on this team). Kevin Love can shoot it, will rebound and can dish it a bit. While his ideal position is the same as Amare's...it's hard to find a true center in the NBA and the Camby/Amare/Love combo could be one of the NBA's best, not too unlike (different skillsets of course) Odom, Gasol and Bynum.This team can shoot, rebound and defend...I like its chances.

Millman's MonStars:

Not a bad squad assembled by Mulldog. The question worth bearing is that if you can't win a championship with Amare, Marion, and Nash, will any group really be any better off. Let's take a look at who I build around Amare and let you decide.

C: Emeka Okafor: Kind of a Marcus Cambyesque player, but much younger. Emeka would probably get a little more love around the league if he wasn't rotting in Charlotte. Okafor is a double double machine (2nd in the league this year among true centers). Having Okafor rule the paint allows Amare to run free and leave the dirty work to others.

PF: Amare Stoudamire: Not much to add here, have to build around him, we know what he brings to the table.

SF: Tayshaun Prince: Tayshaun is a perfect role player with Championship experience. Not only is he able to knock down an open shot, but he is going to do all of the little things for you. Prince also gives you the ability to once again, let Amare run free and have Prince matchup on the teams opposing scorer. He is also reliable having played in all 82 games this season.

SG: OJ Mayo: OJ only a rookie was 12th among gaurds in scoring average with a solid 18.5 ppg average. Mind you Mayo is only a rookie, but I think he's got the tools to be a pretty solid NBA player. At 6'4 he can play Defense and stick with bigger gaurds and not get killed by his side. Mayo starting at SG gives Amare and the MonStars a balanced scoring attack. Would like to see his rebounding and assist numbers improve, but we hope that comes with time.

PG: Jameer Nelson: I have been high on Jameer Nelson since his days at St. Joes. I was furious when the Nuggets drafted him and traded him away the same day. It took them the next 5 years to find a point gaurd (Chauncey). Jameer can score and take care of the ball. He will distribute the ball to Mayo and Amare. He also provides a 3 pt shooting ability as he shot 45% (2nd in league average)from downtown this year before his injury.

6th man: I think this team require a sixth man who comes off the bench and just shoots. Think maybe Eddie House.

A starting five of Okafor, Amare, Tayshaun, Mayo, and Nelson should give you enough defense, rebounding, and scoring to compete in this league.

I think this exercise really proves that you can't build a championship team around Amare. He has to be second fiddle on any true championship caliber team. Any suggestions for tomorrows star are welcome.

BCA at the OTB

Welcome to the Kingston OTB (Off-Track Betting for those of you non-loser, non-degenerate gambling low-lifes out there...a place where the scum of the Earth assembles to bet on horses) - where I found this note posted above the (naturally) broken urinal.

Many of you know (and the rest will likely soon find out) that I like to gamble. I consider myself the BCA (Best Capper Alive) and while betting the horses is my weakness, I like to think I can spot some value better than the average schmuck. So, in an effort to get my life in order this summer (and out of necessity since I am broke) I gave myself a challenge - a $25 bankroll for the OTB (Belmont Stakes next Saturday and any trips to actual race tracks not included) with the goal being to turn it into $250.

Today was Day 1 of the quest. Here is how it went.

Upon entering through the complex's magnificently dirty double-glass doors, I was greeted with a classic OTB great debate. A man with a mild mullet creeping out of an old American Choppers baseball cap (hair color best described as a peppery drab orange marmalade) and matching orange collared American Choppers button down was arguing with an approximately 275 pound, 5', former athlete, replete with back-hair and wife-beater, white high top basketball sneakers (possibly Rick Barry hand-me-downs), high slightly ruffled white socks and a walk that could only be described as: upper body battling lower body, what happens when you're too fat to waddle. The argument was over whether or not Preakness winner and filly sensation Rachel Alexandra was really a super-horse (American Choppers got diced as big man ended a 10 minute debate with the "first horse to ever win The Preakness from the 13th post" line).

And that is why I love the OTB, nothing else can turn you into a bigger scumbag while simultaneously raising your self-esteem quite like hanging out there. A quick glance around revealed an Asian man with bushy (possibly hair-sprayed) eyebrows that literally stretched as wide as his shoulder blades. An old white guy with the flip-down sunglasses/glasses that I haven't seen used as a fashion statement since Dwayne Wayne from A Different World.


There was the Hannford butcher with his Hannford smock (to be fair it was clean) on..he literally sat there for hours in the smock. At one point, in walked in a woman with a bright lime-green shirt on, voo-doo-ish beads around her neck, scraggly black gypsy hair, right arm struggling to carry a red bag. Her eyes never blinked. She walked mechanically with mouth wide-open (miraculously not drooling) and fingers stuck up both nostrils (not kidding) as she droned to no one in particular "One dollar winner instead of nothing." As she headed over to the scratch-off machine, some slightly less sad soul walked over and handed her another one dollar winning lottery ticket, as she noted "You're a sweetheart" about two minutes after he walked away and she finally processed what he had given her.

There were the Jamaican drug-lords (have literally heard them discussing drug deals or I would not accuse) who walk in with fat wads and come away from the ticket window with stacks of betting slips that would seemingly make me believe they said "Give me every horse to Win, Place and Show in every race at every track please." The one was wearing a see-through mesh jersey, colored like the Jamaican flag. They speak patois and yell words no one else can decipher before throwing all their tickets up in a mass of depreciated confetti (which will usually be scooped up by some bum who will hope a horse on a ticket was scratched and they can hand it in for a refund).

The place is littered with old men to the right, half of which are bitching about horses or jockeys while the other half bitch about their wives. Walk back ten minutes later and the half that were bitching about their wives have found a jockey or horse to bash, while the others have forgotten about that "short-shit fucking pea-brained jockey" and are now bitching about their wives.

I will spare you many of the other bizarre creatures, peculiar conversations and strange happenings. As for my results? After missing a couple early races, I placed 10 dollars worth of bets.

You guessed it, a $15 bankroll for the rest of the summer! Even my favorite filly, the greatest named horse of all-time Lemon Chiffon let me down by missing the board in the DRF Race of the Week at Hollywood. Until the next (and probably last) installment of the BCA at the OTB, good luck gamblers.